My Little Pony: A Giant In Equestria
by Abyssal Angel
Summary: Not your usual HiE story. The show is known as My LITTLE Pony right? So how would a human do in Equestria if we took that to it's logical conclusion? Rated T because I don't see how this story could possibly become M ever. Not my first written FiMfic, but it is the first one I'm willing to post. DISLCLAIMER: If you recognize it, I don't own it! I only own myself.
1. Chapter 1

A tickling feeling on my nose caused me to snort in my sleep. Something going _up _my nose had me jolting up right, trying to sneeze whatever it was out. That took all of a few seconds, but my brain is still playing catch up at the sight all around me. As I stared around in shock, one thought echoed in my mind.

_Well this certainly isn't my bedroom._

Indeed, unless my bedroom has suddenly turned itself into the outdoors on a small scale. All around me rising up to the middle of my torso are trees. Lots and lots of trees. I'd heard of Bonsai trees, but this almost looks like a wild bonsai forest! It looks weird too. It's all tangly and stickers are grabbing at my clothes as I stand up.

Now there's another oddity. I'm wearing clothes. That wasn't the case when I went to bed in my apartment last night. Now there's a thought. Perhaps this is a dream? I've never had a dream where I'm a giant out in the middle of nowhere before.

I brushed off the plants tangled and sticking to my jeans and off my back. At least my jeans and shoes are mine. I don't even own any plain black T-shirts!

Looking around once more, hoping I'm not alone out here, I sighed as I didn't see anyone.

"Hello?" I called out, hoping someone would answer. Unfortunately no one did.

There is a mountain in the distance. Oddly enough there looks to be some kind of building on its side but I can't make out any details from this distance. Even from here though I can tell it's in miniature just like the trees around my feet that are brushing against my knees. Ah well. Civilization is civilization. Let's just hope I can find someone who can tell me where I am.

Taking my first step was actually a bit difficult. Seems the forest I'm in is a bit more grabby than I thought. Stupid vines are tangled around my feet. Thankfully it only takes a little effort to rip my foot out of the mess. Hopefully if I keep moving and don't hold still for long, this weird creepy looking bonsai forest won't be able to grab me again.

It takes me somewhere in the realm of twenty minutes of walking before I finally spot the edge of this forest. Twenty minutes of holding back curses at the stupid trees that almost seem to be deliberately trying to trip me up. It almost felt at one point like something tried to bite my ankles, and I automatically reacted by shaking my foot vigorously. When I bent down to brush any remnants of the thing biting me off my foot, all I found were a scattered pile of twigs, bark, and tiny leaves. I just shrugged and continued on at that point.

Now, with the edge in sight, I sped up so I could finally be out of this stupid forest. The trees are starting to thin out and be less grabby here. I thought I spotted a miniature ruined castle in the distance to my left, but at this point I'm far more interested in getting out of this forest than examining any curiosity while I'm still in it.

As I'm getting close to the border of the trees, I spot something that nearly makes me skid to a stop. A ways in front of me, the bonsai forest from hell gives way to neat rows of miniature apple trees. The grove is pretty large even from my perspective. I can just make out a red barn over the tops of them.

I glanced up to check the time. It was just barely risen when I'd woken up this morning deep in the forest. It's only a small ways higher at this point, so it hasn't taken too long to get to this point.

Stepping out of the forest and into the clearing between the rows of apple trees was something of a relief. I took a moment to rest and enjoy the feeling of not having plants actively trying to wind around my ankles or seemingly moving directly in my way to make me fall over.

Despite being out of the forest, there's still no one around. I headed over to the barn since it's closer than the mountain. Since I'm a giant, I kind of expected to see little tiny people the size of Barbie dolls there, but no such luck.

Thankfully my examination of the place does reveal a dirt road away from the barn and goes out a quaint white gate with a wooden board hanging over that depicts a carved out relief of an apple. Whoever owns this place must really take their apples seriously if they felt the need to put it on a sign. It's not like anyone wouldn't be able to tell this is an apple farm from the apple trees after all.

Stepping onto the road, I decide to follow it and see where it goes. From here I can see it twist over a few hills and I can see what might be some roofs over the hills. Beyond that is that mountain with what I can tell is a castle at this point. I've no idea how it hasn't slid off since it appears to literally be stuck to the side of the mountain.

Following the road along the border of the apple farm until it split off, I make my way towards the settlement. I can hear sounds from that direction now that sound like some kind of celebration. Perhaps that's why the farm was empty? Everyone must be at that celebration. Here's hoping they won't mind a giant showing up.

Finally I can see the houses close up. They're all thatched roofs and look like cottages. There's even a windmill and an old fashioned clock tower and another barn. Seems I've stumbled upon an honest to goodness village.

Carefully stepping around the buildings, I follow the sound of a party towards the center of the village where a building towers over the rest of the houses by a few floors, and has plenty of wrap around balconies and has a point on the top. I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that's the town hall.

Finally I get close enough to the celebration to see, and stop short, barely stopping myself from openly gaping.

Ponies. Tiny little ponies the size of my hand rather than the Barbie dolls I was expecting. They look like an example of a pastel rainbow.

This has now graduated from strange to weirdest dream ever.


	2. Chapter 2

Almost as soon as I spot them, I'm spotted in return. The sounds of celebration die off as gasps fill the air. Suddenly feeling awkward and a bit on the spot, I wave sheepishly.

"Um… hello… any chance any of you can tell me where I am?"

I quickly realize they might not even understand me as they're still staring. Any other thoughts I might have had are interrupted by screaming. Suddenly it's pandemonium and chaos as the crowd of tiny multicolored equines start darting every which way trying to escape. I can hear tiny cries of "It's a monster!" over the din and I wince. Well that could've gone better.

A handful of the ponies seem to be trying to get the situation under control. To my utter surprise some of them even appear to be wearing armor and have horns. Unicorns? Then I'm distracted by a flock of ponies scattering skyward. With wings. Pegasi. Oh, this just gets better and better.

At this point I'd rather get away from all this so the town can hopefully calm down. Unfortunately in the chaos, some ponies are actually running past my feet and I'm afraid to move lest I step on any of them.

Suddenly there's a blue and rainbow blur in front of my face, and I instinctively jerk back from the proximity. Now that I can see it better, I can identify it as a cyan blue Pegasus with a rainbow mane and tail. That's about all I can see before it shouts, "Get out of our town!" and promptly turns around and nails me in the nose with its back hooves. I stumble back, clutching my nose whilst simultaneously not trying to crush anything.

"Ow geez! What the hell? I didn't even do anything!" I said in a nasally accent.

I think the Pegasus is about to go in for another swoop and I prepare to duck. Before I get a chance though, the little pony disappears in a gold flash and is replaced by a white pony with an aurora like mane with both wings _and_ a horn. I flinch from the flash and the possibility of another hit coming from this significantly larger, but still tiny pony. Thankfully this one simply spoke.

"I apologize for my little pony's actions against you. They're a bit wary after a near disastrous situation we only just recovered from this morning."

I nodded slightly, stopping with a wince when that made my nose hurt.

"Ok I can understand that. Sorry to cause any problems."

I lifted my hand away from my nose slowly and spotted blood, while my nose throbbed and I muttered to myself, "Ow, geez, I think that blue one broke my nose…"

"Here, allow me to fix that for you."

The white pony's horn began to glow and with a slightly smaller flash, the pain in my nose suddenly went away. Even the blood on my hand had disappeared. I carefully tweaked my nose. When I felt no pain I smiled.

"Wow, thanks! Heh, flying, talking, and now magical, ponies. What a weird dream..."

The white pony smiled slightly and said, "I assure you this is no dream. You are in the land of Equestria, my domain and home for ponies as well as others. I am Princess Celestia."

Royalty? A magical, talking, flying, multicolored, Pony Princess. And this is supposedly not a dream? Granted that kick to the face really hurt, and pain doesn't usually translate very well in my dreams, so I'm inclined to believe the Princess for now.

"Ah, your highness. Um… it's nice to meet you. My name is Matthew. You said this place is called Equestria?"

Princess Celestia nodded, "I assume from your asking that you're not from around here?"

I shook my head. "I've no idea how I even got here. One moment I was going to bed in my apartment. Next thing I know I'm waking up in this miniature grabby forest from hell. Ah, no offense to your lands your highness…"

The Princess chuckled and responded, "Not at all, Matthew. Please call me Princess Celestia. If you would, perhaps we could continue this conversation outside the village? My little ponies are still a bit wary."

I looked around and sure enough, I could see little heads and eyes peaking out from shutters and over window sills or around corners. When I looked around, some of them ducked and hid further. Only a handful (AN: Ha!) are still about, mostly a few white ponies in armor, plus another colorful group, one of which just happens to be the blue prismatic Pegasus from earlier.

I nodded sheepishly, "Right. Sorry about that."

Carefully I turned around and made my way back the way I came. Princess Celestia flew forward to hover even with my shoulder at a respectful distance, and asked,

"The forest you spoke of, would that be the one to the south?"

Not knowing, I glanced in the direction of the forest I'd waded through, then looked up. Hopefully the sun rises in the East here too.

"If you mean the one in that direction," I pointed, "then yes."

Celestia made a clicking noise with her tongue.

"I'm sorry you had to wake up in such a place. The Everfree forest is not the most friendly of places to begin with."

"If you don't mind me asking, why don't you just… magic the place away or something?"

Celestia shook her head, "Not at all. Unfortunately, the Everfree forest is a piece of old magic and is resistant to any changes, magical or otherwise. There are attempts to push back the edges of the forest, but it is resistant and we both gain and lose ground every year."

I nodded in understanding. "Ah. Well, if you happen to need some gardening done, I wouldn't mind trying my hand at uprooting the forest while I'm here. It might be resistant to magic, but maybe it'll give way to some aggressive weeding. Heaven knows I'd love to give it a shot after the crap it gave me trying to get out of it." Belatedly I added, "Ah, sorry for the language Princess."

Celestia smiled, "It's alright. And thank you for the offer. Could you tell me about yourself? I've been alive a long time and I've never seen anything quite like you before. Perhaps if you told me about your home, I might be able to help you return there."

"Ok. Well… I'm what you call a human. I'm 26 years old. My home is an apartment in the city of –redacted- in the state of Florida. The Country I'm from is called The United States of America or USA for short. It's comprised of 50 states. Each state is a size that ranges from small to large sized countries, and I think it's the third largest country on the planet. Any chance any of that sounds familiar?"

While I was talking, we made it outside the outskirts of town and I took a seat on a decent sized hill so I wouldn't crush anything and rested my arms on my knees.

Celestia shook her head. "I'm afraid not, Matthew. While Equestria is not large, it's not small, and is one of the dominant countries on this planet. There are other lands such as Zebrica to the South East, the Dragon Kingdoms to the south, Saddle Arabia to the East, and the Gryphon isles to the West, but I've not heard of America before."

I nodded, crestfallen, "I had a feeling you wouldn't. Humans have mapped out our entire planet very thoroughly and none of those places you mentioned are on our planet, assuming it isn't hidden through magical means of course. For all I know Equestria could be hidden in a Pocket Dimension in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean or even in another galaxy!"

I was startled by a pat on my leg, and I looked down to see a yellow Pegasus with a pink mane patting my ankle and looking up at me sadly. I smiled, wiping my face and whispered, "Thanks."

The little thing startled, and ducked her head shyly. She might've said something, but I could've just imagined it.

The six ponies at the party that hadn't been panicking, including the one that smashed my nose, had followed along and were arrayed behind the yellow Pegasus. Some guards were standing by as well, keeping their spears pointed down but still facing my direction, ready to bring them up and defend their Princess and her subjects if necessary. I can't fault them for their vigilance and hold back a nod of approval at it.

At my scrutiny, a purple unicorn trotted forward and cleared her throat nervously.

"G-Greetings! I'm Twilight Sparkle! These are my friends Fluttershy," The yellow Pegasus slowly shying away from my ankle squeaked adorably and seemed to shrink in on herself, "Applejack," The orange one with the yellow mane and tail in a ponytail with a cowboy hat tipped said hat and said "Howdy." "Rarity," The white Unicorn with the stylishly curled mane and tail dipped her legs in what I can only describe as a curtsy and said, "Charmed." "Rainbow Dash," the cyan pegasus with the rainbow mane and tail from earlier just gave a 'hmph' and looked away looking sullen only to get nudged by Applejack, but Twilight just continued. "and Pinkie Pie-"

Whatever Twilight was about to say was interrupted by an explosion of Confetti and Pink as the vibrantly Pink pony assailed me with a song, welcoming me to Ponyville. At one point I think she'd fired a colorful blue cannon as well and I soon had a miniature cake in hand. (A.N. - Yes, Pinkie sang the Welcome song from the show.)

I was both bewildered and amused at the Pink one's antics, and everyone's looks ranging from gobsmacked to resigned made me want to laugh even more. Pinkie stood on my knee, glancing between me and the cake in my hands, and said,

"Weeeeeeeelllll?" she drawled it out slowly and everything.

Bemused, I asked, "What?"

Pinkie huffed and said, "You gotta eat the cake! How else will I know if you've been properly welcomed and ifyouhaven'tbeenproperlywelcomedthenwemightnotbecomefriendsandifwemightnotbecomefriendsthatwouldbesosadanditwouldbejustawfulandpeoplemightthinkyourmeanandothersmaycryandtrytohurtyouandtheprincesswouldhavetobanishyoutothemoonandthenwe'dhaveagianthumanonthemoonandthenthemoonmightcrashandeverythingwouldbeDOOOOOOOOMED!"

It took me a few seconds to process all that. Even then I'm not sure I got it all. I raised my eyebrow, now even more amused and asked, "All that just from not eating a cake?"

Pinkie nodded decisively, and responded, "It may be one small step for you, but it would be a giant leap for us, so please eat the cake? Eat it!"

I stared wide eyed at her. "Did you just?- No, nevermind…" I shook my head and popped the cake in my mouth. Immediately an explosion of sugar and strawberries hit my tongue. I took my time chewing it and savored the flavor, letting it easily wash away thought of random ponies randomly paraphrasing famous moon landings. With the cake being so small, it kind of reminded me of those fancy desserts you get at fancy restaurants that are made for their flavor. What were they called again? Petit something I think.

As soon as I finished, I looked down only to see Pinkie staring at me expectantly. I smiled and said, "It was delicious. Thank you."

Pinkie smiled so wide her eyes closed, "You're welcome!" She then hopped off my knee and bounced back over to her friends. I was a little worried she might get hurt by the fall, but at the last moment I thought I saw Pinkie slow just before she hit the ground. Not sure what to make of that, but hey, magical ponies right? Who knows what they can do?

To my left, Princess Celestia held a hoof to her lips giggling, looking for all the world like she's trying not to. The blue winged pony with a horn next to her was also smiling, but seemed to shrink slightly when she noticed my gaze on her, then seemed to firm up after a glance at Celestia next to her. Huh. Wonder what that's about?

Seeing my look, Princess Celestia forced herself to stop laughing and cleared her throat. "Matthew, this is my sister, Princess Luna. She just went through an ordeal so she's not feeling too well."

I frowned slightly in concern, "Hello Princess Luna. I hope you feel better soon."

The blue Princess ducked her head a little but nodded without saying anything. Princess Celestia looked a bit worried, then turned back to me,

"I'm sorry Matthew, but I must take my leave. Rest assured I will do all in my power to see you safely returned home. If I may, I would like to return and speak more with you in the coming days, as any information may help."

I understood that she wanted to get Luna home and nodded, "That's fine. Thanks for settling things back there." I vaguely waved back in the direction of the town square.

Princess Celestia nodded happily, "You're quite welcome." She then turned towards the group. "Twilight Sparkle."

The purple unicorn Twilight stepped forward, "Yes Princess Celestia?"

Celestia seemed to take a serious stance and spoke, "In addition to your lessons in the magic of friendship, I would like for you, and any of your friends who are willing, to watch over Matthew here and see to it he is looked after. I will leave a pair of guards here to help in this endevour. I would also like you, Twilight, to learn more about our guest here and send me reports on what you learn that I may better be able to determine where he comes from that we may send him home. Who knows, you may even gain another friend. That is, if he's willing?"

She turned to me as she said this. I nodded and said, "That's fine. I'm perfectly willing to stick around and try not to make a nuisance of myself. I wouldn't mind making a few friends on the way either."

Celestia gave a gracious nod, "Thank you. Until we meet again. I hope you have a wonderful time with your stay here in Equestria."

I nodded in turn, and Celestia turned and she and Luna got onto a chariot some guards drew up. Just before they left, Luna turned back to eye me, and gave a small nod of courtesy. I nodded back, wondering if she'd lost her voice.

Soon after that, they were gone.


	3. Chapter 3

With the Princesses gone, I turned back to Twilight, and things descended into a bit of an awkward silence.

"So Ponyville has its own giant now!?"

Well that didn't last long. Most everypony there turned to Pinkie with exasperated looks on their faces, whilst I was just amused. Twilight just shook her head and then turned back to me.

"Right! Well, I have plenty of questions, and I'm sure you have plenty as well. Unfortunately, it's been a really long night, so if it's alright with you, perhaps we should all get a least a little bit of sleep before we start the day in earnest?"

I nodded, "That sounds reasonable."

"Hold up." Called Applejack. "'Fore we go anywhere, this one," she nudged Rainbow Dash, "Needs to say somethin'" Rainbow Dash huffed and gave a stink eye at AJ, but she just stared her down while everyone watched. Finally Dash turned away and ambled forward in my direction, mumbling, "Alright, alright already…"

Turning back to me, Rainbow scuffed her hoof, looking a bit sullen but also kinda… disappointed? "Hey, look… I'm… sorry for earlier. All I knew was that this giant something shows up and everyone starts screaming. I just kinda reacted, and hey, the Princess fixed your nose and all, so… we cool?"

I almost immediately said yeah, but then a devious idea entered my head. Instead I responded,

"Yeah… maybe… you did hit me pretty hard… how about you make it up to me?"

Rainbow winced and the others looked a bit concerned at that.

"Yeah… alright, fair's fair. What do you want?"

Smiling, I said, "Just hold still."

Rainbow looked confused, "What-Hey! What are you doing!?" I picked her up. The two guards left behind stiffened and raised their spears, but before anyone could do anything, everyone's jaw dropped.

"Hey! Come on, put me… dooown…" Rainbow's voice trailed off unbidden as I scratched her behind the ears. I couldn't help it. There's just something about these ponies that just screams ADORABLE at me. It'd taken a lot at this point to hold myself back. Sure, maybe it's not manly, but I grew up with four sisters, and out of my whole family, only the youngest sister was young enough to really be my playmate, and with her being two years my elder, most of the games we played were up to her. So I grew up playing house, dress up, and dolls. Thanks to that, gender roles to me are pretty much nonexistent.

After thirty seconds of thoroughly enjoying myself petting Rainbow Dash, whose small size means her barrel fits perfectly on my hand with her legs dangling over the edges of my palm, my attention was drawn to both Applejack and Pinkie Pie collapsing on the ground with laughter. Even Rarity was doing her level best not to laugh, holding it in with a hoof. Twilight looked amused while Fluttershy had a warm smile on her face. The guards had thankfully lowered their spears, but beyond that didn't react.

Rainbow for her part didn't even notice. I hadn't stopped petting her, and she's almost dead to the world, with one of her legs twitching slightly. It's both amusing and heart warming. It certainly helps that she's really soft, and I could probably be satisfied sitting here petting her for the rest of my days. It's almost weird how fulfilling it feels to pet this little pony, kind of like how it feels to pet a cat sitting in your lap almost. If you're not paying attention you could end up doing it for hours.

"Having fun there Rainbow Dash?" Twilight asked, smirking.

Rainbow just mumbled something and waved a hoof lazily in her direction. Unless I miss my guess, it almost sounded like she said 'Don't knock it till you try it.' In mumblese.

Rarity tittered and said, "You realize Rainbow, that after this you'll have no choice but to join me at the spa? I won't take no for an answer anymore darling!"

Fluttershy seemed to jump up at this, "Oh! Rainbow's going to join us at the spa? Oh that would be so wonderful…" It was all I could do to stop my heart from melting at the soft golden yellow pegasus' voice. If I didn't already have my hands full I might have scooped her up to pet her on reflex at this point.

Rainbow winced, and mustered up enough energy to respond, "Sorry Flutters. I've got nothing against the spa, I just don't like hooves touching me like that. This though… spa ponies have got nothin' on this…"

'Spa Ponies?' I wondered to myself, bemused. Unbidden, an image of how a pony might try to massage someone of my size entered my head. It looked vaguely like Pinkie Pie jumping all over my back. I dismissed the mental image only to notice Pinkie hopping in place with a smile so wide it made her eyes look closed. Weird.

At this point Twilight yawned, and this set off a chain reaction of yawns from the others.

"Well that's it for me. I'm plumb tuckered out. I'm gonna go get some shut eye 'fore I havta catch up with the work over at Sweet Apple Acres." I winced. That apple farm would have to be hers wouldn't it? At least I didn't break anything, but I hope she doesn't mind any large boot prints I accidently left behind. Applejack glanced over at Rainbow, then headed off chuckling.

Pinkie bounced over and said, "Well, I'm not tired at all! I should get back over to Sugar Cube corner and help the Cakes restock after- Zzzzzzzz…" Everyone sweatdropped as midjump, Pinkie suddenly stopped and drifted off to sleep instantly, still standing up.

Rarity tutted and said, "I will get this one home before I head off for some beauty sleep myself. Tata darling, I look forward to speaking with you about the fashions of your land sometime in the future!" Rarity said that last part with almost a sing song voice. I nodded weakly and called out a goodbye as she left with Pinkie Pie slung over her back.

Fluttershy mumbled something about getting back to her animals and not having enough time to sleep before slowly trotting off.

"It was nice meeting you! I hope we can be good friends and talk in the future!" I called out after her. Fluttershy eeped, then turned back and waved shyly to me, before cantering off at a slightly faster pace. I sighed, wishing that could have gone better.

Rainbow slurred out whilst I continued to pet her, "Dun worry bout her… shez jus like her name… she'll come'round…" I smiled at the words from the practically comatose pony in my hand. Twilight giggled, then seemed to hesitate, then asked,

"You'll be alright here while I'm gone?"

I nodded, "Yeah, I should be able to keep myself entertained here for a while."

I guess I wasn't able to keep the doubt off my face, because Twilight asked, "Is everything alright?"

I shrugged and said, "I'm just a little worried … this is all kind of sudden and I'm trying to catch up with it all… it wasn't so bad when I thought this was a dream, but now that I'm pretty sure I'm awake… I don't know what to do. I don't know what I'm going to eat or where I'm going to sleep… it's just a lot to take in all at once."

Twilight nodded sympathetically and patted my ankle, coincidently in the same spot Fluttershy had. "Don't worry. Everything'll be fine. The Princess is on the case, and I'm sure she'll be able to help you find your way home."

I nodded, smiling slightly. "Thanks Twilight."

Twilight smiled, "No problem Matthew. I'll be back as soon as I can ok?"

"Ok."

With that Twilight waved and headed off. I waved back then resumed petting Rainbow, who I soon found to be snoring softly under my ministrations. Amused, I turned to look at the guards. They're both standing vigilant, covering both me and the area around us.

"Are you two going to be on guard the entire time?"

The two flicked their eyes to me but remained motionless.

"Geez that sucks. I hope there's a rotating schedule so you can take a break every now and then. I can't even imagine how awful it would be to be on guard 24/7."

They still didn't say anything, so I simply left them to it, and continued to pet Rainbow Dash whilst I went over in my head everything that'd happened so far and what I should do now.


End file.
